I don't need it; the cold
Not in my mind, not in my body
It's my heart that craves for it
My soul holds a yearning so deep
The cold passes my time
Occupying my thoughts...
Like nothing else can
It's an intricate process
A manipulation of elements
It has an almost instantaneous effect
It starts with a tingling on my wrist
Then, like little ants, the tingles spread
To my arms, my neck, my ears, my face
My head...
I don't need it; the cold
Not even on the warmest of nights
Cos' it has nothing to do with the weather
I'll take it even if it's in chilly winter
The cold numbs me
Making me impervious
To pain, the self inflict torture
Memories withering like autumn leaves
Which will be swept away by the ensuing indifference
From my head, the numbness travels to my chest
For a while, I feel a blunt stab in my heart
Then the heart starts to beat fast
Too fast, it can no longer hurt
Too fast, I can no longer be human
I don't need it; the cold
But the female in me wants to escape
To be freed from inhibitions
To renounce moral obligations
The cold uncivilized me
Turning me into a mere savage
Everything becomes purely physical
No room for passion and emotion
Just a filling of void, a temporary solution
When I am no longer human
There is no need for me to feel
It is no longer wrong to be part of a game
Of false enticing and fake enchantment
It has gone primal, we are, after all, mere animals
I don't need it; the cold
Wait, I lied!
It's the only way I survive...
=The Unintended=
30 November 2010
